Not all red and white

Millions of people the world over see Valentine’s day as the official day of love and, with this, comes expectations. People are expected to act and feel a prescribed way (after all love is in the air).
But is love really in YOUR “air”?

Are you really feeling the love or are you experiencing changes in feelings of well being, sleep patterns, and maybe eating habits? Do you feel like withdrawing from social contacts and are lethargic (low energetically)? Are there alternating periods of depressed moods?
Whenever these symptoms are powerful enough, they are diagnosed as a form of clinical depression known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D). People who live in countries farther away from the equator are more prone to experiencing S.A.D. because of the shorter periods of sunlight experienced in the winter months.

What about YOUR Light?

What does this have to do with you? Everything. If you are in the process of awakening to the truth of who you are you WILL experience similar symptoms (the severity varies). There is this feeling of darkness when one is faced with the realization that what they for years thought and accepted as the norm is no longer what feeds their soul…their authentic SELF. How does one share this with family, friends, place of worship? What do you do when there is the possibility that your entire support system could disappear and you are left on your own? The internal struggle is real, so real that depression at times develops.

The psychologist Carl Jung spoke of individuation which (dissected on the simplest level) is the process whereby one recognizes that they are an individual and not simply an extension of friends, family, social and cultural constructs. Individuation is SELF work..developing and integrating all aspects of self. Embarking on this process entails consciously navigating the darkness before YOUR light comes to the fore.
A few days ago I shared my process of “unmasking” with a small group of ladies. Sharing our stories is one way of providing reassurance that whilst the struggle is real,
the reward of being and living as YOU is a real possibility (if one is committed to doing the work required to make it happen).

Honour YOUR process by:
• getting to know yourself
understanding that darkness and light are spectrums on the same pole
releasing judgement

I will end with a quote from Carl Jung. “Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say.”

I understand that commenting publicly isn’t the desired choice during this struggle. Therefore, if you would love to have safe and non-judgemental support as you journey within and navigate YOUR PATH, connect with me at:


Comments 6

  1. I can relate and connect to this on so many levels. Drastic changes in my life often leave me feeling low and withdrawn. I will definitely be trying to honour my process with you guidance.

    Thank you for this wonderful piece.

    1. Post

      You are welcome Mimi. My goal when writing a piece is always to make a connection with readers who are able to relate. I am honoured to be of service as you honour YOUR process.

  2. You have made some valid points that one must think about. Self care is so important. We speak about loving others everyday, but do we really love ourselves? I, myself am working on loving myself enough. It may sound strange but it’s a fact. Many of us don’t love ourselves. We focus on the care of others more. It is a blessing to read your posts. Please continue to help us help ourselves….much love!

    1. Post

      Thanks Michere. It really isn’t a strange concept that one is working on loving SELF. The truth is this; many of us are unaware of who we really are, and as such cannot love and care for SELF.
      Knowledge of SELF is the all important key needed in loving and caring for SELF.
      Loving and caring for others whilst not honouring our own longings and discontent, will inevitably lead to one of three things:
      we have a mental and possibly physical breakdown
      we totally forget who we truly are or
      we decide and take the steps to heal, know, and love ourSELVES.

  3. Some lessons come wrapped up in people’s experiences, and stories garnered from others. Thanks once again for giving voices and ears to people who can intimately relate to your posts. Self love, self care, self preservation- something many don’t even consider. Guilty! I have spoken to my close coworkers about taking care of themselves more. Yet I hardly do as I say. The hypocrisy! So what will I do with these words now? How will I use them to show myself I care for Me… I will begin by reserving , in fact, let me pause here. I am going into my calendar to set reminders for self care. It’s important to care of others, but we can’t pour from empty vessels. Thanks for your inspiration and for stirring up in me a fire in me to nurture my vessel. Love and light! 💜💙

    1. Post

      My apologies for just responding Racquel. It however has provided me with the perfect opportunity to check in with you. How is your commitment to SELF-CARE going?

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